Street Racers: More Horsepower Than Brains

"Tom McParland" (tommcparland)
10/21/2013 at 20:20 • Filed to: asshats

On the way home from work today I witnessed what looked like an impromptu street race between a Optima SX-L and a Golf R. I was cruising along in the left lane going about 80mph, when I look in my rear view and see two cars approaching at a very high rate of speed, and weaving through traffic. I get into the center lane and set my cruise at 80 to have some sort of speed reference on these two. The Optima then the Golf R blow by me as if I was standing still, they had to be pushing at least 95. They continue to weave in-between the cars and their inputs did not look smooth either. I did not want them to crash, but I did wish for a State Trooper up a head. I don't know who "won" as I took my exit, my guess is whoever decided to be the bigger maniac. There is a time and a place for that shit but the AC Expressway at 3:30 in the afternoon is not it. Just like those asshat bikers in NY, folks like these give the rest of us a bad name.

DISCUSSION (35)

imadeaburner > Tom McParland
10/21/2013 at 20:23

I limit my "racing" to late night, on empty roads, like the one I mentioned before where police don't really care and just keep it safe.

During the day in traffic I cruise at 75-80 in the center lane, unless I need to pass in the left lane.

Aya, Almost Has A Cosmo With Toyota Engine Owned by a BMW. > Tom McParland
10/21/2013 at 20:23

I don't think they have horsepower either.

Tom McParland > imadeaburner
10/21/2013 at 20:24

Like I said there is a time and a place...middle of the day on a crowded highway these idiots deserve to get their licence pulled.

offroadkarter > Tom McParland
10/21/2013 at 20:24

This doesn't surprise me hearing a Vdub was involved, but who races a kia optima? I don't care whats in it, its a kia optima

pdthedeuce > Tom McParland
10/21/2013 at 20:24

last sentence = truth .

Tom McParland > offroadkarter
10/21/2013 at 20:25

Granted that Kia was giving the R a run for its money...but still stupid.

offroadkarter > Tom McParland
10/21/2013 at 20:26

Yeah I think the new optimas have the same 2.0 T as the sonatas. I saw one at Maryland International Raceway on sunday running low 14's.

Tom McParland > offroadkarter
10/21/2013 at 20:27

Yeah they are pretty quick for a family sedan and quite sharp looking too. I would probably get one for myself if I could have 3 pedals.

GhostZ > Tom McParland
10/21/2013 at 20:29

" impromptu street race"

That's your problem.

offroadkarter > Tom McParland
10/21/2013 at 20:29

sharp looking family sedan with a manual and turbo inline 4

I've seen this before

Kinja'd!!!

Tom McParland > offroadkarter
10/21/2013 at 20:30

Too heavy and over-priced

imadeaburner > Tom McParland
10/21/2013 at 20:31

Exactly.

Anytime kids try to race me on the highway mid day I'll fake like I'm gonna, let them rip away and sometimes I'll call state police with a license plate number.

PS9 > Tom McParland
10/21/2013 at 20:33

...an impromptu street race between a Optima SX-L and a Golf R...

Kinja'd!!!

Truely, a clash of automotive titans. Might as well tell my witness-to-stupidity street racing story.

On my way to work, an MX-3 blew past me. It has those old $20 plastic spinner rims on it, the ones walmart use to sell. A second later, an old lifted suburban with like 5 guys in it blasted past, one of them screaming,"GO, GO, GO!" The road I was on was a long one with a curve in it. At the end, a light that always turns red whenever anyone approaches it (fuck those lights, by the way.) anyway, I get there. The MX-3 is stopped at the light. The suburban is nowhere to be seen.

Oh, the shame. Oh the humiliation.

Milky > Tom McParland
10/21/2013 at 20:36

I haven't street raced for a while, but when I did it was abandoned streets in Detroit at night. Couldn't hurt anyone if no one is around. Highway mid day might be the dumbest thing.

Somethingwittyer likes noisy > Tom McParland
10/21/2013 at 20:36

Remember seeing some Optima with some stupid bodykit and a fart can exhaust. Had some stickers and a pretty legit looking wing (gurney flaps and all). Overall it seemed to be in pretty nice shape, even the bodykit looked to be of decent quality. Guy was driving like an ass thought. Actually, come to think about it, was it white as well? I saw the Optima I was describing in downtown Baltimore, were you in the MD area when you saw it? Again, not often you see new Optimas with bodykits (Altimas on the other hand).

themanwithsauce - has as many vehicles as job titles > offroadkarter
10/21/2013 at 20:36

I used to drive around in a POS monte carlo that had an aftermarket cat back exhaust because that was cheaper than OEM. It had the 3.1 V6 so it's basically one of the slowest monte carlos in the history of the badge. I had a "street race" with an elantra GT. I'd say it was an actual race but despite me flooring it off the line it took me a whole 8 seconds to hit the 55 mph speed limit. The elantra stalled and probably took even longer to hit 55 once it got going again.

The kicker was the cop behind us that was probably laughing at how pathetic the whole scene was. It helps to badge modify your monte carlo to read "CAR LOL" so you get out of these types tickets.

themanwithsauce - has as many vehicles as job titles > imadeaburner
10/21/2013 at 20:38

My method of choice was to always fake like I'm gonna do the stoplight drag, then at the last second, turn right at an intersection or slowly pull into a nearby restaurant or gas station. It's not street racing if it's only one person :P

imadeaburner > themanwithsauce - has as many vehicles as job titles
10/21/2013 at 20:42

I love faking the stop light ones, occasionally I'll let the 2step kick in, shoot a little flame or five.

Then crawl away.

Tom McParland > Somethingwittyer likes noisy
10/21/2013 at 20:44

This was a stock SX-L here in Jersey

sloPro > Tom McParland
10/21/2013 at 20:48

"...I was cruising along in the left lane going about 80mph..."

CRUISING??? IN THE LEFT LANE? for shame, fellow opponaut! left lane = passing lane

offroadkarter > themanwithsauce - has as many vehicles as job titles
10/21/2013 at 20:49

its always more fun to drive slow cars fast, instead of fast cars slow. Remember this!

offroadkarter > Tom McParland
10/21/2013 at 20:51

I'm pretty sure the GS is on par performance wise with an SRT 4 stock for stock, and the SRT 4 was a gutted out base model boy racer with no rear power windows.

wbizarre - OEM fetishist > GhostZ
10/21/2013 at 21:07

Seriously, you gotta get organized. You need at least 30 cars lined up along the side of the road, just as many Asian chicks in skimpy outfits to stand around them, and put on a choice selection of shitty hip hop and techno. Then you got yourself an organized street race!

exizeo - still loving fourza > Aya, Almost Has A Cosmo With Toyota Engine Owned by a BMW.
10/21/2013 at 21:10

Golf R tho

N51fanatic > Tom McParland
10/21/2013 at 21:18

MONICAAAAAAA!!

Dunnik > Tom McParland
10/21/2013 at 21:27

I still can't believe I'm reading Kia and "giving a Golf R a run for its money" in the same story.

But after driving even a base version at work, I can actually understand why.

Kia - Who Knew? (should be their new marketing phrase)

Tom McParland > sloPro
10/21/2013 at 22:05

At 80 I was passing everyone, when I noticed faster drivers behind me I got over.

sloPro > Tom McParland
10/21/2013 at 22:08

well spotted sir! lol

Patrick George > Tom McParland
10/21/2013 at 22:13

On the way home from work today I witnessed what looked like an impromptu street race between a Optima SX-L and a Golf R.

Boy, THAT's a fair fight.

Tom McParland > Patrick George
10/21/2013 at 22:15

It was closer than I expected, the Kia had the lead before I took my exit. But yeah asshat.

Tom McParland > offroadkarter
10/22/2013 at 08:16

Holy crap you can get lightly used GSs for less than 30k. There is just one problem and I know this is totally irrational, but stay with me, you see I know what GM could have given us a la Insignia OPC. They could have fielded a legit 3-series fighter, but no they decided not to, they gave us the watered down version. So it's hard for me to get over that.

GhostZ > wbizarre - OEM fetishist
10/22/2013 at 09:37

Or, you know, spotters, timers, a dedicated time and location, and enough people to provide cover/eyes over any danger.

offroadkarter > Tom McParland
10/22/2013 at 10:07

yeah im not sure why they chose to just use the 4 cyl, but I know their is a big aftermarket for those engines VIA the cobalt SS/TC

wbizarre - OEM fetishist > GhostZ
10/22/2013 at 19:40

They way you highlighted "impromptu" and said "that's your problem" made it seem like the only problem with that impromptu street race was that it was ... impromptu. A miscommunication which I promptly took advantage of for comedic purposes.

Someone Else's Projects > N51fanatic
11/05/2013 at 00:12

What's your problem? You didn't win!